As recent as ten years ago, people met potential partners through friends and family, or they went to restaurants and bars with the hope of meeting someone amazing. Then they went on several dates with someone before deciding whether to continue seeing that person. The process of meeting people and dating was more personal than today’s advanced online, technologically savvy dating practices.
No one scrolled through online dating profiles on a cell phone on lunch break. Now, two to three dinner dates has gone down to one date because there are plenty of options in our vast cyberspace. People are also less willing to invest time in someone who may turn out to not be a good fit. Many daters opt to just go to lunch rather than sit through on an entire dinner only to find out that the person is not right for them. So they say, “Let’s skip dinner,” and soon it’s “I don’t have time for lunch.” That turns into “Let’s just meet for coffee” and then “Should we even meet for coffee? How about we just set up a time to instant-message each other? Or just text me, and we’ll go from there.”
That may be a slight exaggeration, but the advancement of dating and social-media technology has definitely influenced today’s dating practices. It has enabled singles to pass on a potentially great candidate, sometimes because they didn’t like something they read on an online dating profile page. The term serial dater was not in our vocabulary twenty years ago, but it’s everywhere today. Even if someone is going on only one date a week with a different person each time, that’s 52 dates a year, and that sounds like serial dating.
My advice to singles is to slow down and take your time when it comes to dating. Explore the possibility that the person you’re out with may potentially be someone with whom you would consider a relationship. Challenge yourself to go on a minimum of three dates with someone you think you may like rather than counting the person out because of something he or she did or said on your date. Best of all, the pressure of a first date diminishes with more time spent together, so you’ll see more of the genuine person this way.
First impressions are important, but so many people end up dating someone who is the complete opposite of the person they thought they’d end up with because they took time to know each other. Rome was not built in a day, so get to know someone instead of looking for reasons to stop a potentially great relationship because your expectations weren’t fulfilled on just one date.
I am the CEO of Elite Matchmaking, one of the largest Personalized Matchmaking companies in North America. Prior to Elite, I was the Vice President of sales and Operations for a publicly traded company with over 3,500 locations. My passion to combine my extensive business growth and management background with matchmaking and relationship coaching has assisted with the rapid expansion of Elite’s current national locations and tens of thousands of active clients. I have been a specialist in the matchmaking industry for almost a decade. I match both men and women successfully, most in part to the fact that I bring a fresh new male perspective to an industry that is 99% female oriented.
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