Being single during the holiday season is all about perception and frame of mind. With the holidays vastly approaching, many singles may be starting to think about the dreaded thought “I don’t want to be single again this holiday season!” If you are single and you can relate, then there’s hope for you yet. In my opinion, self acceptance, assessment and understanding about the reasons why you have not found yourself in a relationship is half the battle. You see, there are many things you can do to take control of your mistletoe experience this holiday season to ensure that you kiss your way into an exciting New Year, with an exciting new relationship.
For starters, I want you to create a list of all of the qualities and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner. Many of you may be thinking “if I knew what I wanted, then I wouldn’t still be single.” This may true for some of you, however, there are a few pointers that can help you re-discover who you’re really looking to meet, which could ultimately guide you to meet your perfect match. I believe that most people are single because they are focusing on chemistry and looks, rather than the true knowledge or understand about who they should be with long term. I love to ask singles “when was the last time you broke up with someone was because they were unattractive?” The answer to that question is simple, never. Chemistry is usually the driving force behind who we meet and try to pursue relationships with, everything else is usually secondary. I understand chemistry is important, however, after the “honeymoon period” (the first 3 to 6 months in a relationship), the chemistry usually dies down, so what’s left is the actual person, which in most cases is not the same person you thought they were going into the relationship because your primary focus was looks, not deep rooted compatibility or commonality.
OK, back to your list. The first thing you should do is evaluate your past three dates or relationships from your own perspective. Think about all of the qualities you really liked about your dates and or partners. It is imperative to focus your thoughts on the positive qualities, personality traits and characteristics rather than focusing on the reasons why past relationships didn’t work out. Next, I would like you to think about all of the qualities you think your past dates or partners really liked about you. You need to see yourself through the eyes of your past partners because it can be an eye opening experience. In most cases, when you focus on the positive qualities about your past relationship situations, it will help you to become more self aware of who you are and what you are really looking for in a partner. This will also help you to build a stronger sense of self esteem, which means you will inevitably become someone that people want to be around. You see, I believe that confidence and positive self image will go a long way when it comes to meeting the love of your life because people want to surround themselves with confident, positive people.
I always say that knowledge is power, so take what you’ve learned from this self assessment and evaluation process and apply the “new you” when you start to open up to potential new partner candidates. You have a huge advantage because of the fact that you can get started on this immediately, which means you can potentially find yourself in a great relationship before the holiday season arrives. Attend holiday parties and ask your friends to start introducing you to new and exciting people that may be potential candidates to pursue a relationship with. Consider posting your new updated profile on a popular dating site or hire a matchmaker to introduce you to people. It’s time to make a conscious decision to change your current single situation and envision yourself in a fantastic relationship with the person of your dreams. If you can see it and you believe it will happen, then you just overcome the biggest obstacle of all this holiday season, yourself!
I am the CEO of Elite Matchmaking, one of the largest Personalized Matchmaking companies in North America. Prior to Elite, I was the Vice President of sales and Operations for a publicly traded company with over 3,500 locations. My passion to combine my extensive business growth and management background with matchmaking and relationship coaching has assisted with the rapid expansion of Elite’s current national locations and tens of thousands of active clients. I have been a specialist in the matchmaking industry for almost a decade. I match both men and women successfully, most in part to the fact that I bring a fresh new male perspective to an industry that is 99% female oriented.
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