I have been in the matchmaking industry for almost 10 years and I have personally interviewed thousands of single men looking to meet the love of their life. Many of the men that I meet with are over the age of 40 and have never been married, which is the reason why I decided to write this. Why are so many men over the age of 40 still single? Will they ever be able to take a leap of faith and finally marry the woman of their dreams, or does she slip through his fingers time and time again because she never completely fulfills the image he has in his head of who he sees himself with long term? Has being single for 40 plus years caused some men to become commitment-phobes? Do men really want to get married? In my experience, the answer to that question is an absolute yes! Do men readily admit to others and themselves that they want the perfect wife and family, or even a committed relationship, don’t bet on it! There’s a certain level of fear that seems to be the most common reason why men over the age of 40 have never been married. Fear of commitment…or fear of failure? Fear of making a mistake and choosing the wrong woman, or fear that if she is the right woman, will she eventually not meet or exceed his expectations later in life?
All of the above actually. In my opinion, most women are more willing to make life sacrifices and risk everything for the man of their dream. Men are definitely a bit slower with the self realization process when it comes to taking such risks. Basically, what it comes down to is Nature vs. Nurture. As humans, most of us are born with the instinctive need to reproduce. Unfortunately, the nurture side of this equation is what interferes with nature. Each of our individual upbringings determines how we think, what we feel and also influences the decisions we make as we develop from adolescence into adulthood. This does not only include the influences of the friends and family that surround us, but our life experiences as well. The most common influences, or reason as to why men fear marriage and or commitment generally stem from their parents relationship. Men are either afraid that they will end up in an unhappy marriage for the rest of their lives, or they fear that their marriage will eventually end in divorce. Regardless of the reason, most of the time, it’s fear driven.
I believe that one day, for most men, they will wake up and realize that making a life long commitment to the woman of their dreams is worth the risk that comes along with making that decision. They will stand proud and bow down on one knee and profess their undying love to their significant other and publicly pledge their willingness to enter into a lifelong partnership, till death do they part. One can dream right? Lets hope men come to these realizations faster than their girlfriend become tired of waiting. Tick tock, tick tock gentlemen, your clock is ticking and your princess awaits, but for how long?
I am the CEO of Elite Matchmaking, one of the largest Personalized Matchmaking companies in North America. Prior to Elite, I was the Vice President of sales and Operations for a publicly traded company with over 3,500 locations. My passion to combine my extensive business growth and management background with matchmaking and relationship coaching has assisted with the rapid expansion of Elite’s current national locations and tens of thousands of active clients. I have been a specialist in the matchmaking industry for almost a decade. I match both men and women successfully, most in part to the fact that I bring a fresh new male perspective to an industry that is 99% female oriented.
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